Cartwheels...REALLY??

November 17, 2014

Hale Mahana, Kapoho.

Is there a mechanism in a woman's brain that simply kicks in and says,'YES'?  As that mechanism in the brain takes hold of the mouth, women seem to think of all of the possibilities. That was certainly the case with me today. What on Earth was I thinking?  I asked Audrey, an incredibly awesome 8 year old, if she knew how to do cartwheels. She didn't know what a cartwheel is! So...aunty gives a demo. Yes, I can still do a cartwheel, however misshapen it may be.  Totally lacking in the ability to give verbal direction, I chose to give more demos. Well drat, I'm not 8 years old. Perhaps I should act my age, not my shoe size?

A couple of pulled hip muscles were warmed by a hot bath, deep blue (my essential oil 'go to' for muscles) and a snuggle. I'm glad I showed Audrey the old cartwheel version. She, I imagine, will practice and I hope to see a couple of happy cartwheels the next time she visits. I'm blessed to have Audrey and her family as part of our family.

That same mechanism that made the cartwheel performance happen, made itself evident during our time in Spain on El Camino.  The thought never occurred to me that I would not finish the Camino. Even while we were in our worst moments, I knew we would complete our pilgrimage. Admittedly, I considered finishing another time when John was dealing with foot injuries. It may have been the wiser choice, but together, we decided to walk our way through to Santiago.

I have not returned to my pre-Way level of tenseness, but am beginning to feel it creeping in. My commitments should not make me feel this way. In an attempt to guard my feeling of contentment, I'm dropping some obligations. It isn't for a lack of caring. Quite to contrary. If I take care of myself, I can better take care of, and be attentive to, the needs of others.

 For now, I think I'll just honker down and consider the beauty around me. And be very, very thankful for having my John in my life. And perhaps consider my next cartwheel adventure. 

Moment by Moment, Nov 01, 2014

Subtitle: Is She Loosing It?

Point me the right way, every morning, and I'll walk.  

I simply need a little direction.

October 20, 2014

'Life is like a tapestry. Sometimes you can't see the whole picture until you stand back'. Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx

I found this quote in a magazine when I got home from Spain. It appealed to me the instant I read it, and it seems so true. The closer we are to the issue, the less we are able to see it. One small problem can get blown out of proportion because we tend to focus on it. Once we step back from a problem, we are in a better position to observe the whole. 

My 2014 resolution was to be 'more in the moment'. To some degree, I've been successful. I've been more attentive to discussions and try to not anticipate my response. I've watched more sunrises with awe, harvested wheat fields with joy and tried, really tried, to pay attention to the moment and be in the moment. For me, it is a challenge. My mind wanders easily. Perhaps my resolution should have been to be more focused. 

Balance is something to strive for.  To do that, focus is needed.
We saw hundreds of  little balancing monuments during our journey.

During our way in Spain, it was far easier to be 'with the moment'. The worries and concerns of each day were focused on our bodies, our path and where we would sleep when our walking was done. Releasing most other commitments I have at home wasn't as big of a challenge as I thought it would be. Staying in the here and now was a breeze, because I didn't have any other responsibilities. From the solitary beauty while crossing the Pyrenees, to the moment we arrived at the Santiago cathedral, my ability to focus was fine tuned.

Above the fog, in the Pyrenees.

My shoulder muscles relaxed, even with the backpack. As I assimilate into my post Camino life, I find my neck and shoulders tensing. Back to responsibility. I must learn to find a balance. 'Let go and let God'.

Can I come up with a good ending for this entry? Not really. These are just random thoughts that are processing while I adjust to real life. My life after walking and experiencing the Camino. I feel this rambling may be the beginnings of my personal reflections, based upon any wisdom I may have gained while on our 500 mile stroll across Spain.

October 21, 2014

Strive on.  Walk on.  Push through.
All of these accomplished, along with a sense of accomplishment
for each mountain crossed.

Ah HA. I just figured it out (so much for wisdom). The ibuprofen that we bought in Spain is 600 mg. What we buy in the states is 200 mg. I was taking one tablet in Spain. That's like three tablets here. No WONDER I was able to walk that much. 

It doesn't seem real, sometimes. John and I walked 500 miles. The aches and pains are real enough, but I don't think the entire magnitude is what we accomplished has completely settled in my brain yet. John has probably suffered some nerve damage in his feet, that he may never recover from. As for me, the arthritis has just reared it's ugly head. Quick...grab the ibuprofen, Spain style. 

October 23

The way grace and goodness weaves itself around our lives astounds me. This evening I was pondering the people we have had in our lives, and am simply amazed. God has overwhelmed with such blessings. From our friends and family at home to friends we met on the Camino, our family and friends on the mainland and the countless couch-surfers we have hosted. Or perhaps a complete stranger, just living his day, has made a kind gesture. People I have meet and enjoyed all weave their lives with mine, and many don't even know it.

I consider:

• Two women from New Zealand who are stunt actors with many movies to their credit. We met the first night in Orisson, again in Roncesvalles and then we figured they gone. There was no way we could keep up with stunt actresses, but our paths crossed again in Carrion and Leon. We made a connection with these two women and there is a reason our paths kept crossing. Someday we may see the reason.
• A young woman from Montana gave me a tennis ball in Logrono. Tennis balls are used for rolling under feet, on shoulder blades or any body part that need some help realigning.
• The German bicyclist going on a pilgrimage from his small hometown. He was riding a two speed bicycle loaded with 50kg of supplies. Our conversation was brief, but many times in my journey after meeting him, I had thoughts on how he was doing. He showed me his daily scripture lessons, in German, and told me of a family member who works at University of Hawaii.
• A shepard playing with his sheep dogs, who tossed me a friendly wave in answer to mine.
• Two men, who took it upon themselves to feed the people of El Camino. We were blessed to be counted among their legions of well fed pilgrims on two occasions. We were blessed having the opportunity to have them in our lives.
• Marcy, from Philly. A women with an incredible smile and an attitude to match. Marcy was another who I felt we must had lost, but popped up a number of times.
• There were many mother and daughter combos who were off on their adventures together.
• The Spaniard, Marcus, had no English, and my Spanish is poor, but it was great cooking together in some of the albergues we were in with him. We met up with him in Santiago and stood near him in line waiting for our Compostellas.
• Ben from Montreal, who was drinking coffee at every stop and stayed in the same Albergue we did numerous times.

My mind then lingers on the countless people we have met through couch surfing, travel and our day to day living, who have made our lives richer. 

These are the mindless ramblings of a woman who is wondering when the rain will stop, as there are seeds that need to be planted for our vegetable garden.

October 28, 2014

After gritting his teeth and dealing with significant feet and leg pain during our pilgrimage, John has come home to a horribly inept medical system. Mostly, it's an issue of the quality of care. We have a great family doctor who has worked his way up in our 'doctor rating system'. Perhaps we are better patients now too, having learned to do plenty of research before appointments. The Doc understands our walking and the need to finish. When John was dealing with some depression after his dad died, this doctor told him to do something to commemorate Mert. This was the seed that John needed. No tree planted, as the doc suggested. Yes on the tattoo (Doc really liked the Camino tats we have). And sure John, let's move El Camino up on the bucket list.

John, contemplating the goats in the field beyond the
hostel we were staying in.  

-------

John was referred to an ancient podiatrist who hasn't read a medical journal in three decades. Kinesiology tape. What's that? Advil topical. What's that? The list could go on. This was just the beginning of the medical saga that I shan't bore anyone with. Needless to say, it's been a stressful and frustrating day for him. Make that two days. Maybe a week, since shortly after we got home.

November 1, 2014

All Saints Day

Remember, there are saints in our lives everyday. These saints haven't been canonized, but just flow though our lives and often don't know they have made an impact. I try to keep an eye out for them.

St James.  Santiago.  Full of spunk, ready to take on the Moors.
Give me my cell phone and I too, can take on anyone.
Even the medical challenges of the Big Island

After John's encounter with the ancient podiatrist, who told him to take Advil and come back in a month, I've finagled him into an appointment with the top orthopedic surgeon on the island. This fellow is the chief physician for Ironman and chief medical officer for the Olympic Games in triathlon. John drove to Kona yesterday for an MRI. Why Kona? It takes forever to get into the MRI in Hilo and the equipment in Kona is much newer. He gets to go back to Kona this Thursday to see the doc.

Many people have asked John why he pressed on during our pilgrimage. There were many hours of walking, in quite some pain, that John knew he would make it. He knew that, once he got home, he would get proper medical attention. I asked him often, 'want to stop?' or 'time for a doc?', and the answer was always 'no'. That he pushed on and now is feeling like he's falling apart is heart wrenching. The obsticals are neverending. And cumbersome.

Again, an entry with no conclusion.  I don't think there will be a conclusion until John gets some relief.   Right now, resolving the cause of his pain is my main concern.

Home Sweet Home

October 18

Kapoho Hawaii

After traveling for three days, we made it safely home last night. Craig and Suzan, our very dear friends, picked us up at the Hilo airport and delivered us to our corner of paradise. Suzan made some delicious potato soup for us, as she knew our fridge was empty. Since we left for our adventure across Spain only a few days after the power was restored from hurricane Iselle, we didn't stock anything. I don't think our refrigerator and freezer have ever been that empty.

Speaking of hurricanes, Hurricane Ana decided to skip the state, but has given us plenty of rain, along with some strong winds this morning. The few neighbors I've spoken with today were very concerned that Hurricane Ana was on a path to pay a visit to our Puna communities. The forecasts included 20' waves to be created in the hurricane surge. That is extremely frightening information to the low laying communities along the coast of lower Puna. To our great relief, Ana turned to the west and steered her eye away from Hawaii.

I can hardly recommend walking El Camino de Santiago as a weight loss program. John lost 40# before we left and looked great as we headed out of here. I was at my standard of hovering around 142. This morning we both weighed in and have each lost about 2 pounds while we were gone. Our overall shapes have changed, having moved some of the fat cells into the muscle variety. John tells me he can see my leg muscles when I walk across the room now and that I actually have bicep muscles showing off. Who knew that using trekking poles for most of the 775 km would work out my arms?

The only explanation for not losing weight, like so many other people do while walking the Camino, is that pilgrims are well fed and get wine at every meal. We enjoyed the wide variety of local food across the nation of Spain. I surely enjoyed the local wines. We also walked more slowly than most of the other walkers. Now we must adjust to our old eating patterns again. Tomorrow morning we will hit the Pahoa Farmers Market, our usual Sunday pre-church shopping spot, to get stocked up on fruit and veggies.

Having never flown from Europe to Hawaii, I'm not sure if we are suffering from traditional jet lag, or if we are simply exhausted. Perhaps it's both. Morning came at a very early 3:30 AM, therefore, I am assuming our bodies will take a few days to swing back into our time zone. What I am quite sure about is that I'm moving at half speed. Walking, steps, getting up and down from a chair, are all done at half of my regular pace. My body, especially my poor feet, hurt. Once my feet are happier, I think I'll be able to pick up my pace.

It's good to be back at our home, sweet home.  For the next few days and weeks, I'll be pondering our trip. The pilgrimage gave me a chance to reflect, but I hope that being home will help me process all of the thoughts, blessings and challenges. 

The Flight Time Ramblings

  Somewhere over Iowa or Nebraska 

Oct 17

As we prepare to enter back to our paradise real life, I'm still not ready for reflection, beyond some things I want to do when we return. Bear with me, dear readers, as I parade my terribly material thoughts of personal wants...

>Shave. It been weeks since I've scrapped the fur from my usually shaven legs and pits. This is going to happen on my first shower. 

>A soak in the hot tub. Roland (aka 'Roland the body') will have it set for us to 102 F, and ready to climb in.

>Oil. Specifically organic coconut oil. My skin is so very dry from the trip, as is my hair. I think I'll just dip into the jar of coconut oil and smear it all over body and head, and then sit on the lanai, giving it an hour or two to soak in. After my oil soaking a nice, long, hot bath in the jetted tub in our master bath. Maybe I can get John to help with the smearing?? (*,*) I'll need to clean the bathtub of the oil, but it's SO worth it.

>Soak my feet and give myself a personal pedicure. Scrape the grunge, calluses and deep down dirt off of these tired dogs. Clip and file. Find some polish and enter the world with presentable feet. Perhaps this should wait until after our family Doc Harmeling takes a look at them on Monday. I don't know...?some clean up and polish sounds good. 

>Ditto for my hands. While they aren't in the horrific condition my feet are, having some clipping, filing, cleaning and polishing will make me feel a bit more civilized. Miles of holding trekking poles can weather those hands. 

>Lipstick. Eyeliner. Mascara. My friends know that I don't do much of any of these items, but I've missed their occasional use.

>Papaya. Lilikoi. Chico sapote. Apple bananas. Avocados. Poke. I'll get some sunflower sprouts started on Saturday and they should be ready by late next week. I've missed our tropical foods and our salads. I wonder if my wild tomato plant is producing, or if it has been overtaken by the white flies?

>Spend endless hours in bed or in the recliner, with my sweet John. Recuperate with him. Love him. Sleep in. Make his coffee. Bake bread. Susie homemaker returns with a vengeance.

>Tune and play the ukulele. Poor girl is lonely. That must wait until the manicure, as my nails are a bit too long.

>After a few days I'm crazy to see our Hawaii family and friends. I've missed them all so much. 

Am I displaying hedonistic behavior, brought about by a bit of being deprived? Who knows? I just want to feel a bit slicker, after wearing the same 2 shirts, 1 pair of pants, 1 pair of shorts and hiking books the for the past 7 weeks. I want to have some true one on one time with John, not distracted by our next agenda item for hiking. Or our exhaustion.

Or 100 other walkers sharing a dormitory.   

Reflection

Has walking 775 km from St Jean de Pier du Port to Santiago made me a more virtuous woman? No. I believe it has helped by get a better handle on the kind of Christian I am. With John's insights, I certainly understand why I am the way I am. God granted me a special time to spend Him, and to spend with myself. I feel closer to God and the Holy Trinity than I did before I started this journey. I feel closer to John too.  I'm also a bit proud of myself, that I accomplished this journey. There were no guarantees that I would finish, merely a commitment. I also proud of my John. Through the suffering, he just kept plugging along. 

Reality of an 11 hour flight.

It was 61 F when we left our hotel this morning.  My travel black skirt, that has been worn almost every day on this journey, black long johns, t-shirt, blue fast dry long sleeved shirt with fleece and scarf make my outfit. Socks and sandals. Comfy, but dorky looking. Into the flight by 6 hours, the cabin finally warms up. Off comes the fleece, the long sleeved shirt and the skirt. The scarf turns into a bit of a sarong, albeit a short one, to wear over the long johns. Socks are in place to keep the feet warm. Totally Puna. Try though I might, I cannot get a pic of this strange outfit while seated. Thanks for the scarf Lisa. Still using and groovin with it.

John is in sleep land and I should join him soon. A couple of hours of sleep would be good. But I'm charged on trail mix and Sprite Zero, so sleep must wait for a hour or two. There is also a child whose been completely loud and squealing  most of the flight. John has a gift and he knows it. He can be completely asleep before pushback. This gift works well in airplanes, not so good when he is driving. Nevertheless, no airplane sleep is refreshing enough to carry on for long after the voyage ended, so it will be an ETB (early to bed) night for us. Debbie, part of our great crew who keeps us pulled together in our absence, will have everything in ship!shape condition.

Shower, shave, bed. Coconut oil, pedicure and manicure on Saturday. Sunflower sprout start on Saturday.

How many of the sunflower seeds I sprout come from Spain? Could I have walked past some of their fields? Such is the extent of my deep reflection thus far. I think I need healing and sleeping time before reflection can really kick in.

------------------

Anyone who has had to make a pitch, whether for a business idea, a show, a story, knows about the 'elevator pitch'. In the time it takes to do an elevator ride of a few floors, a persuasive chat is presented that will pique the interest of the listener and make the listener want to learn more. I need an elevator pitch for my Camino journey.

'Susan, what did you do on you fall holiday break?'

I abandoned my normal life, packed up a rucksack and headed off to a foreign country to hike 500 miles, over mountains, across plains, all in a search for a better understanding of myself. I was on a pilgrimage, to learn more about my relationship with God. It was journey of love and faith, and certainly worth taking the time to do it. I met people who touched my life in ways they will never know of. I imagine I touched lives also, and may never know how. I can only hope it was for the better. I hope I was a worth witness to the love of God.

Ready for Home

Oct 15, still. 10:45 PM. Madrid airport. 

Terminal 1 must be the original Madrid airport. But we are heading home. I've succeeded again, at booking the flights from hell. I book entirely backwards, so our flights look like this:

Santiago > Madrid

Madrid > Istanbul 

Istanbul > NYC, JFK

JFK > Honolulu 

Honolulu > Hilo

We left our overnight room in the heart of Santiago at 11 AM, because we needed to get out. The rain was coming down in buckets, so we didn't want to walk around to view the antiquity. Besides, we were REALLY cold. Our combined thought was that the airport would be warmer. And it was. We napped, charged our devices, devoured our 15 minutes of free internet and generally hung out at the Santiago airport. Now, in Madrid, we have a layover of 4 hours and we head out for Istanbul. We are both exhausted. Four hours waiting in Madrid, we are totally ready to be home. We will spend a night in NYC, near the airport.

I can hardly believe that only two days ago, I was walking. The culture shock of Santiago was a bit tough, after so much solitude. But the crowds, shops and loud announcements of the airports is even harder to tolerate. Re-entry is difficult, but I knew it would be. A four hour flight to Istanbul will give me some quiet time to reflect...and hopefully sleep.

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Thursday October 16. Istanbul. 5:25 AM. Seven hour time difference from NYC. 13 hour time difference from home.

Airport security is extremely tight, but very efficient. Our gate for NYC didn't open until one hour before boarding. First is the ticket check. Then comes the passport check and scan. Then the carry on check. Then the pat down. I'm such a suspicious character, so I got the entire treatment, all efficiently and politely carried out. I'm not the only one to book from Madrid to NYC through Istanbul. There are a handful of people on our flight that started from Madrid on our NYC flight.

We have an 11 hour flight ahead of us. The plan is to sleep for at least part of it. Turkish Airlines is top notch, so I'm sure we will be well tended to.

We even have slippers in our assigned seats, so we can take off those trek weary boots. But please tell me...who on earth brings a dog on board?

----

9.5 hours into flight.

Yippy dog has been good, until the last half hour. Howling at 40'000 feet. Thank goodness for earplugs. Poor thing is probably suffering. We are well fed and have a toilet. What about the dog? Enough...I'll stop.

Our butts are sore from sitting and our legs are SO unaccustomed to not moving. Hopefully we will be in a hotel room in 3-4 hours. A warm hotel room. With a real bath tub. Best Western has never looked so inviting.

I thought I would use this time heading home as a time for reflection. That will not happen today. I'm too tired. I've slept some on the flight, but as we all know, airplane sleeping is far from restful. I believe my reflections and considerations of walking El Camino de Santiago will come over the next few days and weeks, as I assimilate my lessons learned into my daily life.

Santiago Pilgrim's Mass

Santiago de Compostella

Oct 15. Wednesday

The only kilometers we will walk today are to hail a cab for a ride to the airport. 

We are snug in bed in Josephina's third floor bedroom at 8 AM and it is still dark outside. John is snoozing soundly and the rain is coming down in bucketfuls outside of our window. He is in a lot of pain and was up and down all night. His back, hips, Achilles' tendon, Morton's neuroma, shin splints and general pain of the last 45 days of walking, have hit. Sleeping until 8 is a luxury. We don't do this at home, but since we are both so very tired, it's no surprise.

John did some laundry in our little bathroom yesterday afternoon and it isn't dry. The clothes he wanted to wear today are damp. Perhaps in an hour the t-shirt will be a bit better. As it stands, we will pack our damp clothes in plastic bags and stretch them out to dry at our hotel in NYC on Thursday afternoon. 

During the fair weather yesterday, we went to a few souvenir shops in search of a small bag to use for carry on. It seems like every tienda is filled with souvenirs, some very nice and some very junky. I'm not willing to walk through the airport with the backpack, hence the need for a little bag. I'm done with that. Maybe we should have purchased a shirt for John, too. We also stopped for some orujo, wine and food at a local place that was not too expensive. We enjoyed lively conversation with other pilgrims, two of whom we recognized from walking. Pink Hair Girl now has a name, Amanda, and is from Tasmania. She is delightful and we hope she will come over to couchsurf in Kapoho someday. As 7:30 PM drew near, we bid our fellow travelers farewell and headed to the pilgrims mass in the cathedral. 

Being the evening mass, it was not as well attended as the noon service probably is. Again, we followed along as best we could. The vespers service was delightful. The cantor's voice was a beautiful low tenor and I know God was listening in, as we were, to the praises and thanks. During the sermon, the priest spent time recognizing pilgrims who completed their journeys since the last mass at noon. Pilgrims from Hawaii were recognized. I, of course, was teary eyed most of the mass. That's me, 'Miss Emotions On Sleeve'.

Toward the end of the service, after sharing the Peace, communion and the Lord's Prayer, six men in dark red robes came near the alter to the pillar that held the ropes for the botafumeria in place. There were other men in the same dark red robes at the alter. The ropes were loosened, the botafumeria was lowered and the incense was lit.

Then began the swinging process. I tried to take video, but I was overtaken with emotion and really just wanted to watch.

It is an amazing flight of burning incense, in a beautiful golden basket. This festive part of the pilgrims mass does not happen at every mass. We were told, by the woman who processed our credentials, this only happens when it's paid for. I'm not quite sure what this means, but we were blessed to be at this particular mass to witness this ancient custom.  In ancient times, the incense most probably was used to help fumigate the pilgrims. 

After mass, we shivered our way back to the third floor of Josephina's place and decided to use our sleeping bags. It was SO cold. Some snuggling, then a few hours of restless sleep.

Santiago thoughts

October 14, 2014

Santiago de Compostella

We made it. With tears in our eyes, we got to the cathedral.

 

We received our Compostellas. 

We are staying at a ramshackle place for one night. Mass at 7:30 tonight.

We saw our shadows for the first time in a number of days, as we walked into Santiago. 

Thoughts for today.

Accomplishment

Thanksgiving

Hope

Love

It's freakin cold!

If Josephina just speaks a little, or a lot louder, surely I'll understand her Spanish!

No wifi. Perhaps we can post later this afternoon. 

I'll write my thoughts more clearly tomorrow. Today is a jumble of feelings and emotions.

Santiago, atop one of the many ancient buildings that grace the cathedral square. 

My sweet John. He walked El Camino de Santiago in memory of his dad and for the love of his mom. 

I walked El Camino de Santiago to gain a better understanding of myself, a closer relationship with God and to feel a sense of accomplishment.